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Identity and self care through songwriting with Laura Boswell




Morgan: Laura, welcome to Zeitgeist Radio.

Laura: Thank you for having me.

Morgan: This is going to be fun.

So you are a phenomenal guitar player. You have written a lot of songs. You have done music videos. I want to ask you all about all of these things, but I'm kind of actually stepping on your toes here. How would you describe yourself musically?

Laura: Well, I think I'm definitely kind of steeped in. Classical music, like my first instrument was piano, classical piano. So that was a big part of my musical upbringing and education. And I would say I have like chapters, but classical is definitely a big influence for me. And then I've kind of traveled around to different genres at different times in my life.

And then like when I started playing guitar, but yeah, it's kind of like. Different genres mixed with classical training and then classical music because I, I love it. And then yeah, piano and guitar are my main instruments.

Morgan: Yeah, and so you started classical and what would you say is the style that you're currently using or like performing in or writing?

Laura: Well I still do perform like classical. That's like, I have some gigs coming up at the Biltmore. I do some classical gigs like that. But in terms of writing I would say it's like contemporary singer, songwriter. Yeah. I don't some people have used the words. Meditative. One person said transcendental, which I'm like, that's, I mean, that's cool, but I don't know if I should use that.

Yeah, I don't know. A lot of people talk about. People have said my music is kind of hypnotic and it does have kind of this a lot of it feels pretty meditative because I have like a lot of repetition and finger picking patterns. That is definitely like, I, I think I build a lot of textures and colors through repetitive finger picking patterns, and then kind of more complex harmonies.

I write in a lot of alternate tunings. So yeah, it's kind of very textural. Is that, you know, all

Morgan: these words, these are all good. Yeah. It's interesting. So you have this base in classical music. Classical guitar is not where like many people's brains go when they think classical music is. Guitar.

So like, what was the first time you ever heard classical guitar? Or what was like, what led you to guitar? Because there's so many instruments that you could have played or chosen. What was it about

Laura: guitar that that caught you? Well, it's interesting because yeah, I would break that question into two pieces because classical guitar didn't come until much later for me.

But My dad did used to play the Los Angeles Guitar Quartet's Christmas record on Christmas, which is really, they have like arrangements of the Nutcracker Suite, and it's, it's very sweet. So, yeah, so I was, I had some exposure. My dad definitely. It has, like, a really massive music library and played classical guitar music some.

But I didn't take an interest in it until college. But so, guitar, I got interested in when I was in fifth grade, so I was, like, around eleven, and I was at this really sweet school. Small school that Ian and I, Ian's my brother Ian and I both went to as a Quaker affiliated school, friend's school, and they had us choose an instrument to focus on in our music classes, and so I think there was piano, guitar, and then maybe voice, and I think we did like a sampler, and my first ever guitar teacher was this guy Richard Wiley, and he was He's an amazing, amazing musician, but also just incredibly hilarious, like dynamic.

He I mean, he should have like a stand up comedy show or like a pod. He's just he is one of the funniest people in the world and one of the most energetic people and also incredibly talented. So I think I was drawn. To him. I was like, this guy is the shit. And and, and also I was starting to get into I was just, I guess I realized with the guitar It was a bit more accessible to play the songs that I was listening to at the time Like I was really into the dixie chicks or the chicks like my girlfriends and I were obsessed with them.

So I remember like in the first class I was like Asking him if I could learn cowboy take me away And he kind of like let me down easy because that one's a little, there's like finger picking and stuff and, but I felt really motivated to learn I don't know, I was, I remember, like, once I had learned a few chords and I could play this, like, Michelle Branch song and Jewel and just, it was such an exciting moment.

Each time I could like learn a song that I loved so much that I knew really well and then be able to recreate it on the, so I, I hadn't experienced that so much with piano, which Yeah, I

Morgan: was going to say it's different with piano, like at least with the education I had, I know there's places out there that do both.

But those, those early wins. Are so important for keeping kids like

Laura: excited about. Yeah. When you can take something that's so important to you from your life, just something that I just love, like love really individually, like outside of me, like practicing music and then be able to like, cause, cause piano was, I liked playing and I was good at it.

But I was just learning pieces of music that I didn't necessarily know. I don't think I learned a lot of things that I knew. And so then guitar was the first time where I was. Learning songs that I was really had like an emotional connection to an emotional attachment to and that was really powerful.

I have like vivid memories of feeling so excited learning like Red Hot Chili Peppers. I just, I don't know the songs that were playing on the radio. I listened to the radio a lot and so I was like very steeped in like 90s pop and rock music. And so guitar was just a really accessible instrument to, to like explore that music.

And yeah, and guitar tabs are like fairly simple and straightforward. So once I learned how to read guitar tabs, it was just like, I could, I mean, Yeah, I mean, we were lucky to, like, have a computer and a printer, and so I still have, like, a bunch of guitar tabs that I printed out when I was younger, and it was something I could do by myself and kind of, like, self direct my practice.

I found myself, like, choosing songs I wanted to do and just really excitedly going and finding the music for them. Whereas with piano, it was, by that point, I think I was a little bit Tired of practicing. It was something that, I mean, I'm, I'm so grateful that my parents had us learn instruments, they, they were like when you're, when we were six, we were going to start taking a piano or music lessons.

And we were able to choose what instrument. And so Ian chose piano. I think I looked up to Ian and so I chose piano too. But it was something that it was like our parents kind of made us do it and we were made to practice regularly, I think, I think everyday probably and yeah, I think I was a little bit burnt out.

And so I did, I did stop piano for the first year, few years that I was playing guitar. And then I came back to it later just on my own.

Morgan: So then again, my question still sort of stands, when did you get introduced to the classical element? Right. Even with like, like you're jamming to Red Hot Chili Peppers, that's still

Laura: pretty different.

Right, right, right. Yeah. So classical didn't come till college. So like as a teenager, I'm. Got really into electric guitar and classic rock and like Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, Pink Floyd. I was really into it. And I was like, I think I felt like pretty cool. I was like, this is alternative and cool. But I did, I did really love that music.

And I love David Gilmour as a guitarist and Jimi Hendrix. And I was learning, I got like pretty good technique learning like guitar solos. And so I, I advanced a lot as a guitarist through that genre. And then when I got to college it's, it's funny cause I didn't set out to study music at all. I remember you didn't either.

Oh, interesting. I want to hear about that. Yeah, I was like telling myself that I should do something practical in quotation marks. Which is, it's just funny because I think I, I was like a history major and then I was a French major and I was just bouncing around and I didn't feel happy. And then it was actually after I went to York graduation, I might was so, yeah, I don't know how to tie into the podcast listeners.

But my brother went to college with Morgan and I went to their college graduation. That's how I met. Morgan and her family and it was the best but I was so inspired by the community at Macalester and we're, you know, it was like the end of the year recitals and we're going to see all this music and everybody was so supportive of one another and just really passionate and I was like, really unhappy in school and just hadn't found like my community and I was like, Okay, like, fuck it, I should just try music, I think, because, yeah, this is, that, that really inspired me.

That was at the end of the year. So then my second year, I changed my major to music, and I was at a really small school as well, as well, and They pretty much only had, it was like a performance degree. Like we didn't even have music education or you could like me, you could kind of do a music composition degree, but it was just like one, yeah, same.

And he was, yeah, it was, yeah, it's just music performance pretty much, and either classical or jazz. Ours

Morgan: wasn't even performance. It was just music. And then you did a project and most people did recitals and you were expected to perform, but it was just. Music.

Laura: Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if that's changed there because it's expanded at my college at Guilford's.

And it's, they have like recording now and I'm just like, dang it. Like, why did they have that when I was there? But so I was like, okay, how do I, what am I going to do? And I decided to audition as a classical piano major because that was That's what I felt. That's how I could get into the program because I didn't have classical background classical or jazz background with guitar.

So I went to my audition. I played like a Chopin Prelude, but then I also decided to play a song that I wrote. On guitar and sing, which was like, I don't think I told anybody in advance, but I brought my guitar and I was like, this is also something that I do, which I think it's, I'm glad that I did that because afterward, Cammie Rowan, who became my classical guitar teacher, she approached me and she was like, you should come and take a lesson with me.

And I had never, I hadn't really classical guitar was not on my radar, really. Interestingly, I did. Take like a year's worth of lessons with an amazing classical guitarist who just happened to be in State College teaching at the Music Academy that I was working at and, or that I was taking lessons at and, but I was not interested in classical guitar at all.

I was like, I want to play Jimi Hendrix and like, I think my, my, I remember my mom, I think she was a little disappointed. Cause he was like a virtuosic, amazing. He was engaged to a woman who was like finishing her degree at Penn State. So that's why he was there. But it was just like, I was not interested, but I, I think I knew a little bit because I had seen him perform, but yeah, not on my radar.

And I took a lesson with Cammie and Cammie is also this dynamic, incredible human. Like my first guitar teacher, Richard, I was really just like attracted to him as a person and then same thing with Cammie, very magnetic, like hilarious, warm genuine human. So I was like, this, she's an amazing person.

I want to like spend time with her. And it became clear that she was a really amazing teacher and they had a, like a. Loner classical guitar that the school owned that I could just borrow while I figured out if I wanted to do it. So I started taking lessons with her and I was like, this is actually pretty cool because I had resisted learning very much about the guitar in terms of like, I just read tabs and I was like, I just want to play.

Like I was a really angsty teenager. So I was like, I just like sat in my room and just like learned. Led Zeppelin guitar tab solos. So yeah, I had resisted like learning music theory and kind of just you know, all of the notes all over the neck and stuff. And so I was like, this is an interesting opportunity where I could really get to know this instrument that I already.

I'm really good at, like, I already know it really well. And I could really expand my knowledge of it because you know, I was like learning to, I can sight read on the piano, but I hadn't learned to read on the guitar. Yeah. So I was like, this is really kind of fascinating and interesting and engaging to me.

So I kind of just followed that And yeah, it was just so easy to work with Cammy. I got incredibly motivated and took really easily to the guitar. I, for some reason, I like never wanted to use a pick when I started learning when I was like 11 or 12 and I already had like longer fingernails and I would finger pick.

So I already had kind of the skillset. I didn't have to modify very much about my playing to learn classical guitar. It was like a very easy. Transition kind of easy fit. And yeah, I just fell in love with the music. I didn't really know much of the repertoire and it's funny. Cause like it's a much smaller repertoire than other classical instruments.

Cause it's like a relatively newer classical instrument. Like they didn't standardize the body, the build of the guitar until like 1900 pretty much. And it wasn't in orchestra. So it doesn't have this repertoire that other like, you know, like the cello or piano or violin does. So. Now that I've been playing for a while, it's like, well, people complain that there like, isn't enough music and people transcribe pieces pieces for guitar.

Cause they're, you know, like Beethoven and Brahms. I didn't write for guitar. But yeah, at the time I was just really falling in love with the music. I really loved like South American and Spanish guitar music. Bach and yeah, so I just fell into that. So yeah, originally I auditioned as a piano major and then Cammie kind of like And then, thank goodness, you had that guitar like Yeah, Cammie like kind of swooped in.

I know, it's kind of wild. I think back to these moments where I'm I decided to do something like totally out of the box and I'm glad that I did. Yeah. like a feeling that I should be like, yeah, I also write songs and sing and Yeah.

Morgan: Did you find the community that you were looking

Laura: for? I did, yeah. Yeah, it was a really tight knit, sweet community and Cammie had been building the classical guitar program since, I think, like the early 90s is when she started there teaching there, and it was Had the most music majors and it was like classical guitar was like the largest program at at Guilford and then and then voice and then there would be like a couple people and other there's like one saxophone major and like one.

Oh my goodness. Yeah. So she had really like poured so much energy and soul into developing that program. And you could tell, and she was such a, she's such a dynamic person that like people just want to be around her. And she, one of her gifts is fostering community and just really deeply caring about her students and like connecting people.

And she's such a people person. So she. And just, I don't know, somehow, naturally, instantly creates community. So yeah, that was, that was really special and everybody who works with her and has studied with her, like, at Guilford says that.

Morgan: Yeah. Wow. That sounds amazing.

Laura: It was very special. Yeah.

Morgan: I've been so interested, like, that's so interesting to hear some of this because like, We've known each other a long time.

We've been friends a long time, but, but our initial, like, when I initially got to know you, you were like the little sister, you know, and there's like a different, like, like when you're that young age is like, like. Right.

Laura: Like two years is everything. It's huge.

Morgan: Like an emotionally maturity wise, like there's a big difference at that age between someone who's like 18 and 16, you know, or like 22 and 20 even.

So it's to hear all of this that was going on, like. In you at the same time that I was just getting to know you so I'm really I'm so glad you're here Yeah,

Laura: thanks for having me thanks for being interested in it your

Morgan: first So you've been writing songs for a long time Do you remember when you first started incorporating some of the elements of classical guitar into your

Laura: songs?

I mean, it just naturally started happening once I started studying classical guitar and I was, I was practicing like several hours every day, like once I decided to commit to it, I was like, I had a pretty disciplined regimen. So I was. I shifted my focus to, like, that was the majority of the music that I was playing.

So then when I wrote songs I don't know. Like, just, I had already become so immersed in the repertoire. And it had, like, I had developed new techniques from my practice. That it just naturally kind of seeped into my songs. I, I didn't make, I didn't have like a conscious choice. It was kind of just like my technique had expanded my exposure to like my musical palette expanded because I was going to hear like Greensboro has a really great symphony orchestra.

I was getting student tickets and sometimes they would come and perform at my college. So I'd be able to go pretty often. So I was just getting all this exposure to. Classical music, which I hadn't really like listened to on my own, like by just for fun. Like I had heard it before, but I never had such a realized that I really loved it and had a connection to it.

So yeah, I think it just naturally started happening like within that year that I started really deeply studying classical guitar. So that was my second year in college. So I was like, 1920. Mm hmm.

Morgan: Yeah. Nice. And then you moved way across the country for a master's was, well, can you, we don't have to spend a ton of time because I want to get to your current projects too, but your master's was a pretty different experience, right?

Laura: I mean, yeah, the, my master's was. Okay, so I took a year in between finishing undergrad and going to graduate school to just work and get ready for graduate school auditions and just kind of like chill a little bit. And a lot of people who study with Cammie end up doing that because They're like not ready to leave.

We're like, we want to keep, we want to keep working with you. Yeah, so like I, several of my friends had done the same thing. So I decided to just live in Greensboro and I continued to like play in the guitar ensemble at Guilford and take lessons with her. And then, and then it's not like when you're doing graduate school auditions, you have to, you know, sometimes fly, you have to go physically audition and it's like, On top of having a full course load like your last semester in college is just kind of crazy.

So I, yeah, I made the decision to do that. And yeah, I went to USC and I think I just I was not A super, like, healthy, grounded human. Like, I, I mean, and classical guitar was kind of an anchor for me. And the community that I formed in college, that's specifically, like, that Cammie really fostered and actively put time into building, like, that was really grounding for me.

And so, but I, I had, I mean, at that time in my life, I had really bad health anxiety. I had I don't know, definitely struggled with, like, self esteem and, like, body image issues, and there was just a lot of inner turmoil, and, and music and studying classical guitar was definitely an outlet for it, and I channeled a lot of my struggles into my practice.

I, I think, like, the year after college was I was realizing how hard it was for me to, like, exist with.

Morgan: It's a banana's year. It's a year after college. It was for me as well. And I

Laura: know for Ian too. It's super hard. Yeah, I now know. Your community is so tight. Like, I don't think people who don't do music.

Morgan: They don't understand. Like, and I even started having troubles my junior year because I had so many senior friends. Mm. Because the other thing about music is you're not just with your class, you're with several different classes in choir, in orchestra, in, you know, whatever you're choosing to play. And also, you know, maybe I take theory for, I don't know, there's, there's, there's some like traveling with your classmates, but also there's a lot of mingling and making friends and really tight relationships to form with people who are not in your year.

So when my senior friend started graduating, that's when it hit me really hard. That my, and it felt like something. Like, Perfect and Wonderful was breaking.

Laura: Well, also, it's like, when you go to a school like that, a small liberal arts school, people are, it's more common for people to leave the area. Yeah, it is.

Like, they're not, it's not super common. Most people are not from there. They're not, like, It's and yeah, so it's like you have this community and then it just evaporates and then you realize it operates Yeah, so

Morgan: quarter who you are and you've made her like college can be really transformative I know it's not true for everybody but for me certainly and I know Ian to like it's a very transformative time In your identity as a person and these are the people who shaped that for you It's just this like watching everyone go off into the ether and realizing I'm probably never gonna see you Again, or if I do you'll be different and I'll be different like it will be gone

Laura: forever.

It was very yeah The community will never exist will never exist. How it did it's like you can try to you know reunions

Morgan: or whatever It's not gonna be the same. Yeah.

Laura: Yeah,

Morgan: I totally get that and then it must have been because I did not go on to grad School, it must have been very jarring to go in that thing that you loved into a different environment As in like like they're not you only have the two years.

You're not gonna build that same

Laura: communities. It's a different It's a different atmosphere. You know, what's interesting is that USC the guitar program there was super sweet. It didn't have that same sort of like family feel probably as, but it was, no, everybody was great. And like the teachers were great and it was really where I was.

At personally so what I, so what I realized well, I mean, like why, why it all went wrong was like, because of where I was at personally. And what I started to realize, like the year that I took after college and before graduate school was like, I know now that I, for for sure have ADHD and I have a really hard time self structuring and you know, you spend your whole life in school.

And so that, that, I think, I think I was starting to kind of unravel that year. after school. I was like teaching music lessons, doing some catering work, but yeah, it was just like so much less organized. And I was finding it so much harder to keep a regular schedule, keep a regular practice schedule.

And I was just kind of grasping, grasping for like what I couldn't find anymore from like the structure of being in school. And that was like your first time. Self structuring, it's like, okay, like, good luck, like, here, you know, you've been in school since you were, like, four, and it's very goal oriented.

It's like, do this thing, and then you'll have this specific outcome, and my brain really likes that, is what I've realized. My brain really, really likes that and So I was, I was starting to struggle and I was not in a good place emotionally and I hadn't been able to like keep up the regularity of my practice and I had, I'm definitely a perfectionist.

I think I'm probably a little bit OCD and I had just gotten so attached to my I had practiced like three to four hours every day. It was like very at these specific times. I kind of like worked it out. With Cammie, she like helped me figure out my schedule because I was like, this will be really good for me if we just like write out exactly what I do is just, you know, check, check off the box.

I do this for 20 minutes, do this for 30 minutes. And like, that was just felt really good for my brain. I hadn't really learned how to be so flexible at that point. Once the structure went away and I wasn't able to like follow through with practicing as much, I started to kind of panic and just like, I wasn't feeling as prepared and was just putting so much pressure on myself.

And, and I think I just didn't have this, I'm still figuring this out now. It's like, how much do you have to practice to really be prepared for a performance or, and before it's like, I had this luxury of. You know, I'm in school. I'm like working a little bit at the library, but like school is my job. I'm like lucky that, you know, my parents supported me to go to college.

And my job is to fricking play classical guitar for four hours every day and, and, you know, do my schoolwork and stuff, but I had the luxury of, you know, like practicing a shitload. And then, and so now I'm in this place where I'm like, I don't necessarily have that. Like as much time and then I'm not organizing my time as well.

So I wasn't practicing as much. And so then I was just like, I don't know. I was just more in a gray area and that's just, yeah, I definitely was struggling with a lot of anxiety at the time. And I was just like highly perfectionistic person, very hard on myself. And that was kind of all starting to come to the surface in this year.

And then once I got to LA. To USC, I was like starting to unravel and I was just so stressed about not doing well enough, and it's just, it's crazy, I, I lasted a semester and then I decided to take a leave of absence because I was just miserable, but when I left, it was, I remember, like, Sending an email to my teachers being like, I'm, I'm like not doing well enough.

And they all were like, you are . It was so, it, it was like I was imposing these like completely unrealistic standards on myself and nothing was ever gonna be good enough. Like I was, I was in a mental place where like I was holding myself to a standard that is unattainable. I, I, I was not in a healthy.

Mental space. So, I mean, the community at USC and my teachers were all really amazing and I made friends that I'm still close with. I was only there for six months. But yeah, it was definitely, it was going to happen at some point, any way that I slice it, like, you know, you can have the retrospective, but I think anyway, I was going to have to face.

It was like my own demons pretty much of just perfectionism, high standards, just, which, you know, having, this was like 10 years ago now, I've talked to a lot of people who struggle with the same thing. Like, you know, they weren't, you have to, you have to have a special balance of like, Being really grounded and flexible and disciplined at the same time.

I think, I think to be, to successfully be a, like performing classical musician or like a working classical musician to keep up the practice and then, but not like kill yourself, like overdoing it and just over practicing or like not let yourself have a social life. Like, I think you have to have. A special demeanor, like disposition to, and I've, I think I've figured some of it out.

I'm a little bit more on the too relaxed, like unstructured side still, but I'm still trying to figure out like how to get, how to find a good middle ground. Cause I do love playing. But it does require time. Require time. It requires regular time to like, you're building these tiny muscles and it's like, you feel it if you're, that, that's like what was happening to me is like, I was practicing like four or five hours a day.

So I would feel out of shape if I took two days off. Yeah. And I, so I was just

Morgan: like, I've had a couple of people on this podcast who also have classical backgrounds. And we talk about this a lot. Like you're not a, you're not alone and be, you're not the first one to talk about this on this podcast with me is the, the challenge of comparing yourself, especially now that you're out of school for a while, comparing yourself at this time to.

That person who practiced for hours a day and felt out of shape musically, if they took a day off to now, like most of the time in life, you can't do that. It's not unless you're actively gigging as your primary source of income, which very few people actually are able to do like.

Laura: Yeah, and that's

Morgan: exhausting.

That comparison is just, it's not realistic.

Laura: No, it's not. You can't do that. It's not. Unless you're like independently wealthy or have like a patron. Right.

Morgan: Yeah. Yeah.

/

Morgan: So let's talk about some of the projects you're doing now. Your first album, what led to that? Cause it's a pretty big project to record an album.

Laura: I had had the idea of recording a CD for, I guess, ever since I started writing songs, which is, I started when I was like 14, 15 and they were all very angsty.

Very fortunate that. Social media did not exist then because I'm really glad none of it. None of it is on the internet. But yeah, so I had wanted to do that for a while. And my senior year at Guilford, I started going and Playing this open mic at this place called The Flat Iron, and the first time that I ever went, I met like all of these really formative mu musicians and people like I met the guy who recorded my first album and then I met my Fr and that, his name's Ben Singer.

And then I met my friend Casey Horton, who plays Viola, and she played on the album. Then I met several other people. It was just kind of like a, I show up and then all. Yeah, these magical people come into my life. It was cool. Because at that time, my focus was on classical guitar, and so it was nice to feel the support from my songwriting.

Like I had kind of just behind the scenes been writing, and I've always written to kind of Yeah. Yeah. Move through difficult emotions and it was just kind of a self care practice for me. So I had a lot of songs because I was going through a lot. And I was like, yeah, maybe I should record them. So I met these people.

I met Ben and I think he like approached me that night and asked me if I had any recordings. And he was like, He's a brilliant like software engineer, self taught everything. He does videography now. And he was like learning audio engineering and he was like, if you ever want to record anything, we should do it.

And I was like, shit, sure. So I. I had the idea, met somebody who was game and was more, he was more interested in the, getting the practice and helping me record than he was on like making a lot of money. I did do a Kickstarter for it to raise some money, but it was like a very affordable project and He lived in Greensboro and had a home studio.

So like, I would just go over to his house here and there and we, and it wasn't, it's kind of a hodgepodge of songs. This first album, it was like, I don't see it as being like super linear. It was kind of, because it was like picking from all of the songs I had written up to that point. Was there a method

Morgan: to the madness?

Or you're just like, I like these ones.

Laura: Yeah, I think it was, I like these ones. And then I probably listened a lot to like, The order and, you know, just always go with what feels right at the time. But yeah, I mean, some of them are like just solo piano and voice and then other ones are really folky, but it was, it was a really great, safe environment to explore recording.

Cause recording an album is a huge project and it is very intense. I learned that. It's like a very useful skill to have spent like hundreds of hours practicing with a metronome like being able to like record to a click track. Cause I was recording, we were like, maybe we'll add percussion to these.

So we recorded some of them to a click track which I had never done before, but I w I'm like very well trained to do that now, which I had no idea. That's awesome. I wouldn't have

Morgan: thought about

Laura: that, but you're so right. No, it's like people comment on that a lot and I'm just like. Cause yeah, it's, it's a, I practiced for so long with the metronome that it's just ingrained in me.

Yeah, so I'm grateful for that skill. But yeah, so it was just kind of a dream to just Do an album and I'd never done one before, so I didn't have like a reference point of, you know, it wasn't a concept album. It was just like, I want to do an album. Here are my songs. And I kind of just like, I used some photos that I had taken on my phone.

They're like just winter scenes in Pennsylvania. I don't know. I just kind of was like going with the flow. I didn't have like a big concept with it. It was kind of just like a fun art project. Nice.

Morgan: So, let's compare that to your most recent album that you wrote. Is your process kind of the same now, or have you changed the way that you approach an

Laura: album now?

Yeah, my next album was Fall Away, and I was working on that in like 2015 and 2016, and then it was released in 2017. So, but that one, that one was more of a concept album because I had a band at that point. Yeah. And, I wanted to capture the sound of the band. Like we were playing out a lot. They had written parts to like my friend Denise Strayer was playing accordion.

She had written parts to my songs. And then my friend Josh Troop was an amazing drummer, percussionist and Eric Ian Farmer. So I ha I had this band and we were playing out. Pretty regularly. And it's very, it's kind of unique to have an accordion. And like, yeah, I was like, okay, I want to record. I have enough songs to record another album.

I want to capture the sound of this band. That was fall away. And we recorded that in my hometown and state college. And then since then yeah, I've just kind of recorded here and there as I'm. Able to yeah. You do a

Morgan: lot of music videos?

Laura: I do. I have done music videos. Yeah. That, that started actually the first music video I ever made was on that trip in 2015 when I came out and I, I stayed with two different times.

Yeah. Yeah. And my friends.

Morgan: I remember that shoot. We were in Oregon at the time and you were like, I gotta go to the coast and like, get all of this footage

Laura: of like, the ocean. Yeah, well, we were it was, it was so random because my friend from high school posted something on Facebook. He was like, I'm in Seattle, like, who's here?

And I think I was in Seattle that day. And, but then I was heading. Down to Portland. And so we connected and he was just out like building his photography portfolio, like a drone photography portfolio, like him and his friend had gotten a drone. They were just traveling around, camping, hiking, and just like.

Taking photos, which is like living the dream. But so we, we linked up for a few days and I kind of just casually like floated the idea of like, like, would you guys want to maybe make a video like a music video or like, are you guys trying to also do like a video portfolio or what? And and they were into the idea.

So that was the first. All of my videos have been kind of collaborations like that with photographers who are friends, and it's just kind of like a mutual, mutual Artistic project that usually revolves around like really epic landscapes, which I feel like that's yeah Those are all my music videos.

It's like let's go to this really beautiful amazing place and just like film me playing music I don't know and I feel like if I keep making music videos maybe I should get more into like I don't know broaden the concept of like maybe I'll have more of like a Storytelling one at some point or something that's but yeah, it's pretty much the concept is just like go to an epic place outside And like play the song along to you know You have it on like a bluetooth speaker or something and you play along with it so you can sync up the footage But one I think once I learned how easy it was to do that See,

Morgan: you say that like it's nothing, and I'm just like, whaaat?

Well,

Laura: it's simple in terms of like, you, if you do, if you like, perform along to Yeah, it makes sense. I just never thought about it. Yeah, you perform along to your recording. If you have something that's, if you have a studio recording, you just like shoot footage and then play along to the track, like, and then you can sync it up.

And that seems magical to me. So I was like, I want to do, I want to do more. And so I've like roped different friends into like helping me film stuff and in Maui when I lived on Maui for a couple of years and one of my friends there did surf photography. So she had like underwater, underwater housing for her camera.

And I was like, you wanna like maybe do a video or something. I mean, so that was like, she hadn't really done video before. So it was like a cool project for us to both collaborate on. And then Yeah, there's like some underwater footage and there's a sea turtle in there. So that's yeah. And then also I think that like the more recent videos are born out of like, okay, we live in this world where audio and visual are married.

Or they can be. And it's like, we're, you know, everybody is, I think, yeah, I think I'm like leading more into Self, like music promotion and that kind of thing. So it's like, presumably more easy to like market your music and promote it if you have visuals. But I also do love, I really love the medium of music video.

Like I used to watch TRL, Total Request Live with Carson Daly. Do you remember that? On MTV? It was like, I didn't have TV. Oh, amazing. I know.

Morgan: No, I missed a lot, but, you know.

Laura: Well, I

Morgan: don't know. That's healthy. I don't regret it. I missed a lot of bad stuff, too, like a lot of things that people deal

Laura: with. Yeah, you don't need that.

Yeah. You don't need that. But yeah, so it was like, it was like the top music video countdown every day in Times Square. And I was obsessed. I was just hooked and I loved, and this was like the late 90s, early, early 2000s. So like, Yeah. Yeah. The music videos are prime, like, like Backstreet Boys and Christina Aguilera, just like ridiculous synchronized outfits and dancing.

And like, I've always, I, I realized that I like, I've kind of always been really obsessed with music videos just as an art form and visuals when, when like music and visuals are paired, they can be more powerful. So like, and you know, that's why. The music is so important in a lot of movies and iconic. So yeah, I just really kind of believe in that art form and I've been lucky to have people to collaborate with.

And then I taught myself video editing. So at a certain point I could just get people to help me film footage and then edit it myself. But yeah, there is a video that I hired my friend to help me with it. He edited that we released last year that I'm really proud of for my song, Loss.

Morgan: Can you put it, can you send me the link or I can go find it?

I'll put it in the show notes for people if they want to take a look at

Laura: it. I sure can. Yeah, that was, yeah, that was a nice project.

Morgan: So what are you working on right now?

Laura: Well, for the last. Two years I've been kind of on and off as I've had money Like I started recording with my friend Ryan and then brought some of those songs to a new friend in the Chapel Hill area some on and Added to them and now I have I have like six songs that I've recorded.

So I'm like, okay I might as well add like one or two more and then have a full album. So So you heard it here first,

Morgan: folks. You heard it here

Laura: first. Well, not yet. But yeah, so I'm hoping to, hoping to finish recording my third, what will be my third album this year. But yeah, again, it's kind of just like It's like, okay, I have these songs, they're ready, they feel ready to, like, fly away, it's time to record them, but it's definitely not, like, a concept album.

I'm st I'm still figuring out how to, like, organize them, I'm just like, is this too it's different, it's different than my other albums, it's more kind of, like, ethereal and, I don't know, I'm like, does this all make sense together? But yeah, so, this one is more, I've, for a while I've wanted to explore this world of like, marrying acoustic with kind of more, Surreal electronic, almost like, like synth synthesizer kind of, I really, I find that really powerful when people you have like, really, like I love Sufjan Stevens and so he'll, his album Carrie and Lowell, and then like a lot of other things that he's been, but that one in particular was very Profound to me and inspiring.

He has these like really intimate you can hear him playing. He's playing ukulele and guitar and it's layered and the recording call, I mean, it's just, you can hear the room and the instrument. It's just like very close. And then there will be these like really bassy atmospheric synthesizers or who, I don't know what he's using ever since pretty much ever since I heard that album, which I think it came out in 2015, I've like.

Wanted to explore that in my own music. Cool. And you play your own synths, too that Is so I worked with The the people that I worked with they had. Oh cool. Yeah kind of access to like electronic music database and then saman has Some really cool equipment and like Moog synthesizers. And so, yeah, when I worked with him I did get to play around a little bit with them, but yeah, I don't have, I've always felt really intimidated by that world of electronic music.

When you're, yeah, when you spend your whole life just playing an acoustic instrument, it's like, I mean, I played electric guitar some, but it was like, I had a crappy amp and like a, a wah pedal. Like, I, I didn't, yeah, I always, I've had a bit of a block around it. But I really love what people do, can do with them.

So I'm trying to like whittle away the block, the mental block. That's amazing. So,

Morgan: so how would you, how do you approach like, I don't know, how do you approach creating and, and you, you've mentioned that you like pour your heart into these or, or like whatever you're going through, like, it goes into these songs, like I feel like crafting the music around a song is part of.

The experience of the emotion and the way that you craft it could change. And I don't know, maybe I'm just, maybe I'm just speaking for myself here, but like the way you craft it kind of changes the way that you experience the emotion. Does that make sense? Like I could make it in the style of Led Zeppelin or in the style of Bach, like where do you decide how

Laura: to go with conscious.

Yeah. So my songwriting style is very improvisatory and I. Don't ever come to a song with words. I start with music and it's totally based on, yeah, I just start improvising and I'm usually in an alternate tuning because I find those really interesting. And I've, I think I find, I think I, well, I gravitated towards alternate tunings cause I got really into iron and wine and high school and then Nick Drake and college and was learning their music.

And Nick Drake has some really interesting tunings. So I think. And some of them are a pain in the ass to, to get into. So I'd like kind of leave my guitar in it and then I would just, sure. Yeah. Start using those tunings to write songs in and yeah, it just feels like I can kind of like land in more unexpected places harmonically in an alternate tuning.

And. Yeah, I just, I love exploring that each, each one just kind of has its own sound world. It's like you're in this atmosphere. So yeah, when I'm writing a song, I'm finding yeah, finding chords or like a finger picking or a melody or something that is feeling good in my body, really and for so long it was, I was coming to it as like a way to kind of self soothe, like after a breakup or during, you know.

Some stupid life. Yeah, just life. But yeah, a lot of stupid boy stuff. And yeah, just being upset and then coming to music to heal. And so it would be kind of like what's making me feel better and what's making me like the harmonies that are Kind of connecting with my emotional body I would say are kind of and so a lot of the I listened to like my earlier songs Songs from earlier in my life and a lot of them are like pretty sad and it's interesting because it's I think it's shifted as I've become a more happy like grounded person like I've worked through a lot of my shit Yeah, I mean I still am very I'm I deeply feel things and I think that you know, that's a challenge as a human and as an artist But yeah, my songs have Become like a little bit lighter, I would say, which is, it's nice.

I remember like giving my album to a friend and he, and he listened to it and got back to me. He was like, it's so sad. He's like, cause the songs are all this. I'm like, yep. That's about this guy. That's about this. It's like the songs are a lot of them. I wrote when I was going through separations and, and I just write a ton of music during that time because it was like my.

My way to ground myself and to like heal myself emotionally to work through work through how I was feeling or even figure out how I was feeling like to write. Yeah. Songwriting is it's it's self exploratory practice. I would say maybe similar to journaling. It's sometimes you don't know that you feel a certain way until you write a lyric or until you write something on a page.

And a lot of the words will just I'll just come out of me. They're not really like, I don't know where they come from. But yeah, so I'll just be playing and find you know, something repeating that I like, and then I'll just start singing words. And some of them I don't hold on to. And sometimes it all comes out at once.

Usually if I'm like really Not feeling good, like it'll all, it'll all come out at once and all, but yeah, these days it's more like in bits and pieces and I have to really make sure to go back to the song, revisit it. And because I have a lot of voice memos with like a quarter of a song or a third of a song and then I forget about it.

So in my, my voice memos, I'll title, I'll put in the title, like. The tuning that the guitar is in where if, if there's a capo. Yeah. I write a lot. It's like, actually these days I haven't been writing so much, but throughout my life it's something that I come to as like a self-care practice. Yeah. It's like really grounding for me.

And I think, yeah, I think my relationship has gotten more complicated with it in the last few years as I've been, I've been pretty much like a professional musician. Mm-Hmm. and with ha with that. In this age comes a lot of self promotion on. Instagram, Facebook, posting a lot of videos, a lot of, yeah, stuff where you're just like trying to build a following, trying to be active.

It's like pretty much your portfolio. Yeah. You know, it's hard to, some places won't book you if you don't have, you know, social media presence. So I've really gone after it the last few years and I've, I've realized I'm very, very drained. And my writing has become kind of polluted with this, like, Oh, I need to like, make a video of this and post it online or like, oh, I need to like.

Yeah, record this for a little bit. I did patreon. It's like, oh, I need to record like the behind the scenes of like writing a song and then you just like lose, right? You're

Morgan: performing the moment. You're not, you're not in that receiving

Laura: experience. Exactly. So like I've been out of the receiving experience for a hot minute and I'm sad about it.

So I'm like, yeah, my goal is to make time for that. That's too important. Exactly. And I, well, I want to move, I want to move away from you. Performative, you know, songwriting from like being kind of an artist on display like here's Just yeah, posting stuff and I got, I started doing that more than ever during 2020 when everything went online and it actually was, I was doing like live stream concert on, on Facebook and it did feel really connective and helpful during that time when we were all super isolated, but it's like my brain got used to being on social media a lot and I think it, you know, it's very addictive.

So. I'm trying to spend less time on there and more time just playing for myself and creating for the sake of creating because, you know, it's like an endless rabbit hole to just continuing to post videos on Tik Tok, like, oh, let's see if these hashtags work and you get more likes and it's just kind of.

Bullshit, but I, I, you know, I'm happy for there's so many people who have like gotten really massive audiences Online and that's amazing. That's an amazing thing. But I think as an artist it's like you can get into this headspace of constantly Seeking that and it's not Healthy as an artist like that's not why that's not why we're artists and a songwriter Like I was never doing it for anybody else.

Yeah, so I want to get back to that place I

Morgan: have one last question for you so this is zeitgeist radio and I have what I call a zeitgeist moment and zeitgeist as I'm sure, you know, I mean, spirit of the times and it's kind of that, like, it's a feeling, right? A feeling of what it's like to be alive and connected to a community.

And I niche it down to music and this I call a zeitgeist moment, you know, that, that moment where you are. Just connected like something happens and you're you're either listening to a song or you're writing or you're playing or whatever and it just all just Aligns and you kind of just feel connected to the broader universe culture, whatever it is what was a either a Recent or a memorable zeitgeist moment for you

Laura: I've had a lot.

Music is like very powerful to me. Yeah, I would say the most recent one was seeing, going to see the milk carton kids in concert. That was just like, have you heard of them? I don't think so. I'll send you something. They're just, yeah, it was I'm so, like, transfixed and inspired by their music and their their musicianship, but then they're also really hilarious people.

So yeah, I would say, like, that was the last time I felt it, like, being in a concert. And then I had Another really special moment when I played so far sounds in Raleigh, have you heard of so far sounds? I think it started in London. I don't know exactly when, maybe like 20 years ago or something, but it's this, it's kind of like a curated.

Songwriters showcase and they have it in different locations. It's kind of like Mysterious because as an audience member, you don't know where it will be And who's performing until the day of you know, like what city it's in but you buy the tickets and it's like you don't know What the so it's yeah, it's kind of exciting.

And it's been on my radar for a while. Like I remember applying for its I don't know, probably like 10 years ago. And I finally got to play one of them a couple of weekends ago in Raleigh. And it was just, I'm not performing that much these days. Like I am, I'm kind of burnt out, like re everything that I just said.

Yeah, I'm kind of burnt out in a lot of different facets. So I haven't been performing a lot. And that was just such a meaningful. Experience that kind of just like re reminded me of why we do this. And so it's, it's a listening room. It's like, they, people come to hear original music, original songwriter.

So there are, there are three of us and we each played for like 25 minutes and it's just, there are probably like 120 people there just there to hear your songs. And it's, you know, as a, as a performer and as a songwriter, you end up playing a lot of gigs. I played at a lot of breweries where I'm playing a lot of covers and, which I love playing covers, you know, like noisy.

I was in the green room and we were all chatting and just saying like, you know, this is like why we do this. Like this is the ideal concert setting and like an audience that wants to hear your songs. Because, you know, a lot, a lot of times it's like, you feel kind of pressure to play, play songs that people know, and not, not every atmosphere and audience is the right place to play original music, or I don't know, you just never, you never know, and and this just is a million percent that, it's like, yeah, we're showcasing local, original, Musicians and, and like you're here and the audience is there to listen.

So I was just like, Oh, people still do this. They like, they come and they like want to hear original songs. Cause I, I know I've, it's gotten, I've gotten to kind of deflated. Space with it where I'm just like, why do I do this? Does it even mean anything? And I think that comes from like, I've given my power away to like, you know, posting stuff.

And it's like, Oh, if you're not getting the engagement that you want on a post, then it's like, okay, well, I guess it's not healing. People don't care about me, but yeah, it's not, it's not about them. So that, yeah, it's, that was a really transformative moment to play that and be so. And like, paid pretty well too, you know, that's nice.

Doesn't hurt. Doesn't hurt. But yeah, I am kind of moving away from making a professional living as a musician because of like what I talked about before. I think I want to do something different for money. Cause tying your passion, something like that to your income, it's hard and it's stressful. Yeah, definitely.

And yeah, the people who are able to do that in a way that's sustainable, like, that's amazing. Yeah. But I have not figured that out yet. So when I do, I'll let you know. I

Morgan: will share a Zeitgeist moment that I'm remembering talking with you. It was actually a couple of years ago. So we. My husband and I came to State College to visit.

So we were there for family. There was like a family reunion. And then also, of course, you know, Ian and I are friends and I'm just going to visit him. And it just happened that you were in town also and had this random like pop up house party thing

Laura: in, in your friend's house,

Morgan: house concert. Yeah. So we went.

And there's a specific moment I remembered because it's like, you know, I hadn't seen you in a while. It's like, Oh my gosh, how are you? And then the jam kind of started, people started playing and you just like, I remember watching you, you just like. Roll like relax and I'm like, this is Laura in her happy place Like everything just kind of came together and your friends like same thing like you just kind of like all gelled into this concert Slash jam thing.

It kind of morphed and like there was harmonica and then Ian got up and played a little bit, which I knew was really brave for him. Like, you

Laura: know, it's really cool.

Morgan: Beautiful. And I'm like, this is, this is music. Like this, like there was just this atmosphere of kind of came alive and I'm

Laura: like, Oh yeah. Oh, that's so special that you brought that up.

You know, what's cool is that Richard Wiley, my first guitar teacher was there and he lived, he was. And I impromptu, like, I was like, oh shit, Nate, our, my friend who we had the house, who hosted the house concert lives right next to Richard Wiley. And I was just like, oh my God. Like, and then he, he, he stopped by at the end.

So that was, yeah. Yeah. So that was really, that's so cool that you, you met Richard Wiley.

Morgan: I did. I did. Well, Laura, thank you so

Laura: much for being on my podcast. Thanks for inviting me.


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